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How to Launch a Book
It's a question, not a statement, okay?
I wish I knew how to launch a book. It’s too late to learn now, since as some of you know I have a book coming out tomorrow, on June 6th. Storming the bookstores on D-Day!
My schedule has filled up with radio and podcast appearances. On Tuesday night, I’m scheduled to appear on Fox News. On Wednesday, I’m booked on Megyn Kelly and Jesse Kelly.
I had to buy a ring light for my computer. I have no idea how it works or what it’s for.
Hunter S. Thompson wrote in a letter to his much younger brother how he objected to speaking tours as an author because he didn’t want to be “put on the road as a traveling freak.”
But I am not Thompson and there’s no turning back now. The last ship to the Land of Plausible Deniability gets torched tomorrow.
How did this happen to a trad housewife in Southern California?
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Unboxing and Facedoxxing
So here we are at The Great Reveal. There are a lot of ways to do a face reveal. This is one of my favorites:
Mine will involve climbing into a remote news van parked down by the river.
Not only am I launching a book tomorrow, I’m also “face doxxing.” Stepping out from behind my lovely, cozy anonymity and revealing the woman behind the Peachy curtain after four years.
What better month for coming out of my Twitter anon closet? After all, it is June!
In general I think there is no good reason for Twitter anons to “out” themselves, but alas, I am called to make certain sacrifices for The Cause.
In advance of my live unboxing on camera, I just want to say for the record that my kryptonite is appearing on TV or video. I do not crave the spotlight. Cameras and me are like sunshine and vampires. I am allergic to selfies. I like to sit in dark rooms alone when the kids are asleep and write things; that is my happy place.
So why am I doing this, you ask? Apparently because this is how one sells books. One must actually sell the thing if one hopes to get anyone to read the thing.
And let’s be honest, how can I ask anyone to support my book if I can’t stand up next to it and gesticulate seductively around it, like the spokesmodels on The Price is Right gesticulate around a Jet-ski or a new car.
I won’t be writhing on top of my book like Tawny Kitaen on a Jag, but it’s basically the same thing.
(For the record, I spelled Tawny’s last name without having to Google it. I don’t know if that’s sad or funny.)
Here is how long it takes to write a book:
2019: I start writing essays for The American Mind
2021: I get a DM on Twitter from an editor at Regnery Publishing, esteemed home of right-wing star authors like Ann Coulter, Mark Levin, and Dennis Prager. He asks me if I want to write a book for them.
I throw together a proposal. They accept. A book deal is signed at the end of 2021.
2022: I write a book.
I spent about six months writing, not every day, mostly on weekends. I do have children who need to be tended occasionally.
I turned in the first draft in early July. Made some revisions that fall, and waited.
2023: Copyediting, proofreading, cover design, and collecting of the blurbs. I got some wonderful blurbs and I am so very grateful to everyone who sent me one.
April 2023: Spent a week at a music studio recording the audio book.
June 6th, 2023: Book is unleashed upon an unsuspecting world.
I hope you buy it, read it, and love it. I wrote it for you guys.
You can learn more about it here:
Welp, I guess I’m ready for my close up. Gotta go fill the bath with Botox and soak for a few hours now.
I’ll be writing more about the writing process and tips for getting a book published soon.
In the meantime, thanks for all the support. Truly.
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